I remember an old comic that used to appear in the Chicago Sun-Times entitled Love Is.  I believe the first saying I remember seeing from that little comic came from the movie Love Story, which was Love is never having to say you're sorry.  If that's true, ain't a whole lot of love going on these days.  For those mature enough to say I'm sorry, there are many more who say Oh Well.

 

I heard about another break-up over the weekend.  I decided to check it out, first hand, from the source.  I don't like believing anything I hear from someone else so I check it out and if it's not true, I can tell the person who told me that I heard, from her lips to my ears, it ain't true.  Unfortunately, it was true.  Six months, 2 weeks, 7 days, 3 hours and 14 seconds is what they had together -- and yes, I made that up, but that's how I view many relationships these days, as some sort of ticking clock ticking off the hours from romance to separation.   Til death do us part is often viewed as a fantasy when you see many of your friends end their relationships in just under 6 months, 2 weeks, 7 days, 3 hours and 14 seconds.

 

One of the first jokes I heard about lesbian relationships was the one about lesbian first dates -- it involves a U-haul -- shortly after the first date they shack up, quick, fast and in a hurry.  How much time did it take for either to get to know the other?  Try about 6 months, 2 weeks, 7 days, 3 hours and 14 seconds. 

 

There are so few social gatherings for women in our community.  At clubs, we often have to scream over music with words that insult our sensibilities in order to converse with a woman we find interesting.  Some sisters will cut the small talk to hit the three questions up front: do you have your own place, job and car?  If she answers in the affirmative, she's on the list of potential candidates for dating.  Others, finding the evening has quickly approached final call will go into freak out mode.  Well, she seems nice enough, she has her own this or that, she is doing this or that, why not?  Hell, I may never see her again and this may be my only chance.  Some women, after finding someone representing what they think they want, set up house and go about the business of changing that person from what they thought they wanted into what they need.  Six months, 2 weeks, 7 days, 3 hours and 14 seconds later, they hate each other.  Why?  Like the words of an old song, she didn't take time to know her. 

 

One of the biggest complaints I get is that it takes "too long" for me to enter into a relationship and even longer before I even begin to consider living with someone.  I have plenty good reason for taking so long, I'm moody, I have quite an explosive temper, and I am often perceived as a predator.  On the surface, my little personality traits may not appear so bad, but for a woman with deep-seated issues, she may take my moodiness or temper personally, which could lead to the beginning of the end of our relationship.  The worse I can experience from a woman is when I am looking at her longingly, which is my turn on or enjoyment, which may or may not lead to anything more than my enjoyment, being met with giggles, discomfort or the words "what?"  "Why are you looking at me like that?"  Aaarrrrggh!  No, I need someone who will not take me personally, particularly when my temper or moodiness has nothing to do with them and I'm looking for a little responsiveness to being enjoyed.  I am not going to jump into the first relationship that presents itself just to be unhappy weeks or months later.

 

Then there is the lack of communication.  The "I know why she said what she said tonight, because two days ago she saw this and thought that and that's why she said what she said tonight and I don't like it."  When asked, did you talk to her about it?  "No, I know why she said what she said because I saw how she looked two days ago and I could tell because of . . ." Gee whiz, can't we just talk about things without making assumptions.  And then, can we just talk without you inviting your friends into the mix before communicating with me first? 

 

Yeah, trying to fit someone into your idea of a perfect woman, going for what she represents and not who she is, and no communication will go from what you think is love to 6 months, 2 weeks, 7 days, 3 hours and 14 seconds and it's over. 

 

A woman's gotta have it.  Do the things that keep a smile on her face.  Say the things that make her feel better everyday.  Don't take for granted the smile on her face.  Check a little bit closer, you might find a tear trace.  Maybe the girl might never say a mumbling word, but you gotta make sure that her voice is heard.  A woman't gotta have it, you gotta give it to her, everyday.  She's got to know that she's needed around.  When you kiss her, you gotta make her feel it -- every time.  She wants to know that she's not walking on shaky ground. 

 

Enjoy the woman in your life.  Don't take her for granted.  Enjoy every moment, every curve, and every smile.  Otherwise, down the line you too will face six months, 2 weeks, 7 days, 3 hours and 14 seconds.