Hello ladies.Some reading this will likely hate me for being who I am,"the other woman".I AM the "other woman" because I've for some mysterious reason chose to be just that.I'm the woman that sneaks into your relationship,pretending to be your friend,and at the same time wanting to get with the both of you.Usually I succeed.But this time,...I've ran into a problem(and I can hear the cheers and jeers of you wanting me to get what's coming to me) This time,I'm genuinely starting to feel love for this girl.She loves her partner,but she teases me to no end! She's let me enter her most intimate places,and I'm caressing my lips thinking about her.I think she realizes what I am,and I feel she's going to cut me off at any given moment.Am I asking for advice? No, I think this is more of a confession.I really need to come clean to myself and seek to find my own soulmate. But until then,"The Scarlet Pimpernel")
I was too a non label...but I found that used to create problems with me. I was able to date up and down the scale b/c my look always varied however, my mentality was always aggressive. I tried to suppress it once and it did not work. I had to realized that in order for me to get the type of person I wanted I had to succumb to the aggressive label although I do not consider myself a stud although some may argue that part.
I just feel if everyone would just let everyone live ..then it would be a better place..and if you chose not to label yourself then neither should anyone else make that choice for you.
I understand what you're saying and a lot of folks who are used to something being a certain way can, unfortunately, get in the way of those who do not fit into those categories. It use to bother me. Now, I've gotten over it but then again, I'm old and at my age, I don't care anymore. Trying to fit in only caused me more heartache and created more frustration than I needed.
Now, if people cannot accept me as I am -- sometimes I appear butch, other times femme, and then there are the times when I'm ultra femme, according to all of the labels -- to heck with them.
I will never forget one incident, while sitting at a friend's party, when a statement was made about everyone in the house was gay and she said "she's not," while pointing at me. She made that determination without knowing me, without talking with me, she only looked at how I appeared -- to her -- and determined I was a straight woman. I found that very interesting and unfortunately, within our community that is the norm. Depending on the "window dressing" I am often thought of a straight.
I would not worry about those who use fear tactics to get you to identify as whatever they feel is comfortable for them and not you. Coming out is not the only way for a person to be true to themselves. Being who you are -- however that translates -- is also an important way to feel free, honest and true and that is of utmost importance.
Be you, don't check a box unless you want to, and hope others learn from you. Stepping to the beat of your own drummer is the best you can offer yourself and the world. Freely be yourself.
I am writing from the east coast in NYC and I just wanted to ask a question to the ladies on the west coast...what's up with all the boxes?
According to my lesbian associates in NYC, I am passing for straight because I refuse to check a box and fit neatly into what and who they think I should be. I am neither femme nor aggressor. I am a black woman who neither seeks to possess more male or female qualities. I am constantly questioning the contradictions within the Black lesbian community. Why can't I just simple be a woman who loves women. Why do I have to check a box? Why do I have to fit into these stereotypical boxes? Why do I need to wear a flag on my back to prove my allegiance to the lesbian community? Why is the life as an alternative to ?my life?? What?'s wrong with straight people and clubs? Isn't? the entire movement about equality and embracing difference?
THEN, WHY ALL THE BOXES? I'?M TIRED OF BEING BOXED IN!!!